Studies show that
during interpersonal
communication
7% of
the message is verbally
communicated
While
93% is non-verbally
transmitted.
Of the 93% non-verbal
communication:
38%
is through vocal tones
55%
is through facial expressions
We are educated to
prefer words to
communicate. Therefore, we can
overlook
non-verbal signals.
Foot movements,
voice variations,
facial expressions are all forms of
non-verbal
communications that individuals send
to each
other. We may not verbally
call someone
stupid/dumb, but we may send the mess
age
non-verbally without realizing it.
Body language is the
oldest language. Often
there is a discrepancy between
someone's
words and their physical actions.
Confusion
often occurs regarding what is heard
or the
message seems to be mixed. Usually
in
these instances, the verbal and
non-verbal
messages are in conflict.
When in doubt experts
say to trust the
non-verbal message (what you see).
Words can be
manipulated, but gestures are
harder to control.
Silent
Approval: Indicators / Signs
Discovered by Dr.
Albert E. Scheflen. who
noticed the phenomenon while
studying
people conversing in small groups.
Observe the way
people sit or stand while
talking with others. It has
been noticed that
when people in a group or gathering
agree
with one person.
If the person
shifts position, the others are
likely to quickly to do the same.
Experiment:
Next time your speaking, try to notice who among your listeners is
sitting or standing in the same position as you are.
Then try changing your position (i.e. crossing your leg,
folding / unfolding your arms...)
Those who match your body positioning, are silently signaling
their approval or agreeement.
More vigorous approvals include nods and pursing of lips.
Body Language of
Leaders
Studies have shown
that people in power
appear large, strong with relaxed
posture
Superiority is
signaled by:
Sitting
while others stand
Lean back
in their chairs
Expansive
gesturing
Talking
more, in louder voices
Interrupt
others
People see
you.....not your credentials
Non-verbal
signals can give you a head start.
Good
posture identifies you as
someone with something
to say.
Stand
tall, flex knees and pull rib cage
up.
Look
directly at person / people you
address (no matter
how many).
It is the most
remembered element in forming
an impression.
But do not
stare - - - 5 to 7 seconds
maximum.
(Various cultures differ)
Make sure to focus
on the eyes and not stare
at the mouth or off to side.
Body Language
Studies have shown
that people generally
stiffen / "freeze up" when lying.
The person
who barely moves while speaking
should
be suspect.
Defensive and
rejection postures include:
folded
arms
crossed
legs
body
turned away from speaker
Height
A basic tenet of
the psychology of perception
is that size is associated
with power.
Whatever the mind
judges as important, eye
will judge as large.
Therefore anyone who
looms large in the mind
is liable to be perceived large
in your eyes.
Psychologist find that
height can have impact
on interaction.
Smaller people may
have a feeling of jeopardy
which may make them wary of or
defensive
around taller people.
A study by Sidney
Portney, psychologist,
found that among themselves
smaller
probably had little trouble
agreeing on the
issues presented to them. But
when taller
men were added to their group,
they grew
noticeably ill at ease and
argumentative.
Tall women, on
the other hand, are caught
in a gap in American values.
On one
hand, femininity has
traditionally been associated
with
daintiness. On the other
hand,
the culture says bigger is
better.
Tall women
quickly discover that
smaller individuals of both sexes
assume they are strong.
In business,
this perception of "power"
(from being tall) can be a doubled-
edged sword.
Subordinates
will respect their "power,"
while superiors may feel threatened.
Clients may
be intimidated and/or
overwhelmed and therefore may back
away.
Eyes
You are always
communicating, and
non-verbal communications is
always revealed
in the eyes.
Eyes, it appears, are
always "talking" and
providing valuable clues.
Normal
eye contact means
communication is open.
Looking
down, often rejection.
Avoiding
eye contact suggest
someone does not feel secure
or
included.
A stare
can mean dislike
** Keep in mind cultural differences
Eye Movements
Research has
shown that eye movement can
indicate a lot about the person
talking.
Person may be
sincere if:
Eyes
move upward
stories
about the past
Eyes
move side to side
observations
about the present.
But, if:
Hands
Since few movements
of the hands, fingers
and arms are directly related
to what is
going on the the mind, it can
reveal what
another person is thinking.
Scientists
observed that there are
more nerves between
the brain and hands than any
other portion of
the body.
Calm, confident and self-assured:
Hands move little or
may hang limply
at person's side or rest
gently if
sitting.
- or -
Limp
or hanging hand could signify a
boredom, restlessness or
tiredness.
Depending on situation, it
can also
indicate frustration/digest.
Picking
or biting is common in tense
situations.
Hand
held flat with palm outward
or usually symbolizes "I do
not
know..."
Hands
that are quite active: person is
usually jittery, nervous or
uneasy.
Clenched
hands often mean tension
and frustration, even anger.
If a person is about
to say something or
wants to say something...
there is a tendency
to raise a finger slightly.
Shy
or timid individuals may not get
past this stage. Pushy/
aggressive
people often preceive this
as a sign
of weakness that
they can push aside
or go around.
A raised or slightly
raised finger, usually used
by those to authority, is
used a a sign
of warning.
When this is not
forceful and the finger/hand
is only slightly raised
usually indicates
uncertainity.
Women
The challenge of
being taken seriously...the
body language learned growing
up is often
"apologetic." This will
not lend to being taken
seriously and moving into
leadership positions.
In business, women
must appear assertive:
